


catch me (cause i'm already falling)

by lxghtwoodsbow



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alec Lightwood Loves Magnus Bane, Alec Lightwood can dance, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Compliant, Dancing, Hurt Magnus Bane, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Magnus Bane Loves Alec Lightwood, Near Death, Slow Dancing, basically the dream sequence, he'll prove it at their wedding, post-episode s03e15: to the night children
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-12-18 13:03:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18250400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lxghtwoodsbow/pseuds/lxghtwoodsbow
Summary: Calloused hands held him tight, assuring the warlock that he would not let go, as they spun in time to the soft tune.or; Magnus dreams of Alec as his body rejects Lorenzo's magic





	catch me (cause i'm already falling)

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted this to turn out better, but I wasn't gonna waste my work so... enjoy?
> 
>  
> 
> Title is from 'Arms' by Christina Perri

"Hey."

Magnus blinked, surprised by the bright light that flowed through the open curtains, casting an empyrean glow over the sun-kissed features of the figure in front of him. 

The tang of blood had faded from the tip of his tongue, almost as though it had never been there, the metallic taste washed clean from his mouth.

Magnus remembered. He remembered the ache of love that bloomed in his heart when Alec had suggested they moved in together, the flurry of butterflies at the possibility that perhaps he had a real future with this angelic man who stuttered in front of him, hands twitching in a way that suggested he was preparing to be turned down again. But Magnus had already known that. He knew that for the first time, he was ready to give his forever, despite only having a number of years.

And then his head had split with searing agony, blood hot on his skin, and his lover's words found themselves unheard, lost in the high pitch that rung through his head like a warning bell. So how was he standing in the loft that no longer belonged to him, no longer covered in deep red blood that he had choked on, no longer in burning pain?

"Earth to Magnus?" a quiet chuckle captured his ears, and he could recognise that dulcet laugh anywhere. Focusing, his eyes fixated on the beautiful man in front of him, dressed in a suit that he was sure the shadowhunter didn't own, but definitely should, hazel eyes soft, usually tousled hair styled ever so slightly and rosy lips wide in a smile that reached his eyes. 

"Alexander. You're here." It was a whisper, like a prayer emerging from his lips, as a smile tugged into his face. "You're here. We're here- but how?"

The realisation dawned on him, like a punch in the gut. This wasn't real. None of it was.

Alec's face didn't change, still shaped into a soft grin, as he stepped forward, pulling Magnus towards him, entwining their fingers. "Don't worry about that right now. Dance with me." Music echoed delicately through the room, a sound he was sure hadn't been there before, but he couldn't bring himself to question it, warm eyes burning into his brown ones.

Calloused hands held him tight, assuring the warlock that he would not let go, as they spun in time to the soft tune. A light gasp escaped his mouth as Alec dipped him down, pulling him back as quickly as it happened until their lips were close enough to feel the other's breath. 

In such close proximity, Magnus could smell cold coffee and cologne, achingly familiar and bittersweet, because he knew what this meant. He knew that he was here because he hadn't woken up. This was his mind's way of distracting him from the pain of dying. 

Oh. He was dying. 

"You're not real, are you?" He whispered, eyes casting over his lover's tanned skin as they stood close, swaying slightly in time to the song.  
"No." Alec smiled gently, bringing a hand up to caress his cheek. "I mean, technically speaking, this is happening in your head, I'm what you want to see. Of course, you're more than welcome to stay here, forever, but I can't join you, not yet. If you choose to move on, then you can't dream me up anymore. You'll have to wait until my time comes too."

"If I choose?" Magnus frowned. The idea of a choice wasn't one he'd fathomed, since he clearly didn't have control over his own death.  
"You're strong, Magnus. The strongest person I know. You can fight this, if you want to. I know you can. You're Magnus Bane. My Magnus." He pulled him close, letting his boyfriend's head fall onto his shoulder.

"I know you want to live, Magnus. I know you want a life with me, but, in order to do that, you have to give up what's made you like this." 

Magnus' breathing faltered, as the full realisation kicked in. "My magic." He breathed, feeling his chest tighten.  
"Lorenzo's magic." Alec corrected, lightly pulling the warlock up to meet his eyes. "I know, I know magic is everything to you, but it's killing you. I'll lose you. I'm not ready to lose you. I'll never be." 

He knew that this wasn't the real Alec, that his boyfriend was in the real world, probably sick with worry and devastation. It's how he would be if the same had happened to his shadowhunter. But despite this being a fairytale of his mind, Magnus knew that this was exactly what Alec would say. Alec wouldn't want to lose him. And all that aside, Magnus wanted to live. Not just for his lover, but for himself too. 

"I'm-" he staggered slightly, suddenly feeling a wave of exhaustion. Alec steadied him with ease, features laced with concern. He clung to the sleeves of the jacket, eyes firm on the other's hazel ones in an attempt to ground himself.  
"You're slipping." Alec breathed, cupping the warlock's face. "Magnus, you have to fight it. Please, fight it."

He was falling. Alec could no longer hold him as he sank to the floor, their palms ghosting one another as they fought to grasp hands.

Darkness stole into his mind, engulfing the serene setting of the apartment he once owned, stealing Alec away with it.

"Stay with me, Magnus." 

The voice was an echo, far away, calling out to him, begging him to hear. My Alec, he thought, easily recognising the sweet allure of his lover's words, spoken so brokenly, as though forced through tears. 

Dark swallowed him still, and he felt like he was suffocating, as if pulled underwater by the current, unable to reach the surface. But he fought, struggling to reach the place the voice called to him from.

"Stay with me." This was quieter, only a reiteration of what had been said before, but still held the same shredding heartache. 

His eyelids flitted open, blinding light welcoming him to what he assumed to be the Institute's infirmary.


End file.
